


Unspoken Confession

by FangsofLightening



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 05:07:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3883444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangsofLightening/pseuds/FangsofLightening
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ludger decides it's time to tell Rideaux how he feels. What he gets is not what he was expecting, but certainly what he was hoping for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unspoken Confession

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't tried to write any smut in a while, and never anything quite like this before, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

Panting and with his face feeling as if on fire, Ludger raised his now-sticky fingers and groaned. Masturbating didn't bother him- this wasn't the first time he had done it. What did bother him was the face that had come to mind. The voice he remembered so clearly... _He had sounded that smug, hadn't he?_ Most of all, he hated the name he had so breathlessly moaned at the last second. Something had to be done about this problem. Ludger reached for his GHS, turned it on, and dialed Vera's number. Facing this was the only way to fix it. 

"Vera here. Did you need something, Mr. Kresnik?" 

"Do you know if Director Rideaux is in?" Ludger frowned at his fingers. "There's something important I need to see him about."

There was a pause, then; "He is. Would you like me to tell him you're coming?"

"Please."

"All right. He'll expect you in his office shortly." Vera hung up and Ludger closed his GHS with a sigh. That was taken care of, but what was he going to say? 

_'Hello Director. I keep thinking of you when I masturbate. Can we talk about this?' Yeah, that would go over real well._ Ludger snorted and stood. First, he needed a shower. If he was going to do this, he might as well be as presentable as possible. 

Forty minutes later, Ludger was walking through Spirius's front doors. The woman at the desk recognized him and he made sure to give her a smile as he walked by to the elevator. It wasn't a long wait until he stepped through the open doors and leaned against the back wall. 

Simply telling Rideaux how he felt was out of the question- Rideaux had enough things inflating that ego of his. Explaining what had happened in that fractured dimension a week ago was also a no-go... Ludger's cheeks colored at the memory. It was one of the few he went on alone- Elle had been spending some time with Elize that day- as well as one he wasn't going to forget anytime soon. The way those hips ground against his in just the right ways, rough kisses cutting off his pleas for more... Bodies slick with sweat sliding against one another, the heat enough to-

A loud ding startled Ludger and he wiped the corner of his mouth as the doors slid open. Getting lost in such... passionate memories was definitely not going to help. Why they had happened in the first place was what was important. Ludger walked out of the elevator and in the direction of Rideaux's office. How could he bring up such a topic though? Especially with Rideaux of all people. The man had never cared about Ludger's feelings before, and had certainly never showed any interest. Until that fractured dimension.

At the door, Ludger paused to think. Simply going for it was the best course of action. Worst case scenario, he'd chicken out and give Rideaux some stupid reason why he'd wanted to see him. No harm done. Knocking a few times, Ludger opened the door when he heard a low invitation. 

As Ludger walked through the doorway, Rideaux looked up and Ludger felt his heart skip a beat. Already, his mind was coming up with excuses he knew weren't true as the door closed behind him and he walked over to the desk. 

_This is just a physical attraction. Nothing more than a sexual-_

"What is it? I'm a little busy today."

Ludger raised his white eyebrow at the statement. The Director was leaned back in his seat, GHS in his hands with his face turning back toward the screen. There was a flash and Ludger resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Yes, taking selfies was so important. He liked this man why, again? 

"Ever since this certain fractured dimension, I've been... There's this one person I can't get out of my mind..."

"Someone from the fractured dimension, or are you trying to tell me you keep thinking about me?" Rideaux glanced up from his typing, smirk curving the corner of his lips. 

"What?" Ludger hoped his face hadn't flushed as his voice came out a bit louder than he intended. "Why would I be thinking about you? Of course it's someone from the fractured dimension." 

Rideaux chuckled and looked back at his screen. If he knew Ludger was lying, he didn't say. 

"Everything in the fractured dimensions are merely possibilities of what can be or could have been. Something caused them to change, and... Are you even listening to me?" 

"Yes, of course. Sir." Ludger inwardly grimaced. This was worse than he thought. Just being in Rideaux's presence was having an affect on him. 

"As I was saying, there's really no need to dwell on anything from those dimensions."

"What if it wasn't the catalyst?" Ludger knew there was no point dwelling on much of anything from the alternate dimensions. But if he was right...

"What's bothering you, Mr. Kresnik?" Rideaux leaned forward on his desk, both arms folded in front of him. The GHS was lying in front of his hand, screen black. 

_I stupidly had sex with you in a fractured dimension and now I can't stop thinking about it._

"It's... someone I know here. They were different, but they weren't the catalyst. I've been thinking about it, but... I don't know what to do." 

"And you came to me with it... why?" 

"You've been in plenty of fractured dimensions, so I thought you might have been in a situation like this before." The words came out steadier than he had thought they would. Coming up with something on the spot like this wasn't really one of his strong points. Alvin's skills must have been rubbing off on him.

Rideaux leaned back again Ludger refused to look at him for longer than a few brief moments. After what felt like a few minutes of silence had lapsed, Rideaux answered. 

"That would depend on the situation. Sometimes, it's better not to ask. Tell me... What did I think of you in this dimension?" 

"Who said anything about it being you?" The snapped sentence was too defensive, and Ludger could see the triumph on Rideaux's annoyingly attractive face. 

"You've been nervous ever since you stepped into the room. You haven't looked straight at me this entire time, and you're clearly trying to avoid saying _something_. I'm not an idiot, Mr. Kresnik." 

Nervousness twisted in his gut and Ludger resisted the urge to leave. Of course Rideaux had seen right through him. This hadn't been such a good idea after all... He wasn't ready for this...

"Ludger Kresnik. Tell me what's bothering you this instant." 

The commanding tone sent tingles through Ludger's body and he shivered slightly. Slender hands hit the desk a little loudly, and the rest of Ludger's body followed over the top of it, hips coming to rest against the side. There was something of a challenge in the young Kresnik's eyes. One of Rideaux's brows raised as Ludger spoke.

"You already figured out that you have something to do with it." _What the hell are you doing?_ Ludger shoved farther internal protests to the side. This was his chance. He had to take it now, while it was presented. "You tell me what's bothering me." 

"As much as I would love to, I'm afraid I don't have enough to go on." Rideaux leaned forward until their faces were mere centimeters from each other. That smirk Ludger hated to love curved his lips as the final word left his mouth. 

"You're a smart man. Figure it out." The words were low, barely more than a whisper between them. 

"It's much more fun getting it out of people. Do I need to make you tell me?"  
A shudder ran through Ludger's body at the thought. _Yes, please._ Eyes closing for an instant, Ludger choked back the moan in his throat. Just how far would Rideaux go to get a confession out of him? 

"If you think you can." 

"Was that a challenge?"

Sudden, focused pain flared across Ludger's head as his hair was used to turn his head and slam his cheek down against the hard desk. More pain throbbed across his cheek and Ludger bit his lip. Heart racing and cheeks flushing, Ludger looked up as best as this position would allow. Rideaux was leaning over him, sadistic glee in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. 

"You'll regret that by the time I'm done with you."

Ludger whimpered slightly at the added pressure to his cheek- he refused to admit how much he actually enjoyed it- gripping the edge of the desk with one hand. The other grabbed Rideaux's wrist in a half-hearted attempt to loosen his grip. Rideaux growled- _Oh fuck, that's hot_ \- and pinned his wrist against the desk. 

"Now tell me what you really came in here to say." The words were whispered, breath washing over his ear. Ludger squirmed at the sensation and tried not to let the tone get to him. 

"I- ah- already did." The air around them was growing hotter, and Ludger released the desk to try and loosen his tie. Before he could, Ludger's hair was released and he found himself flipped onto his back, both wrists held above his head. Light pain from where the edges of the desk pushed against his hips and arms mixed with pleasure as Ludger's body was forced into an arch over the desk's surface. An embarrassing moan slipped from between his lips, and Rideaux smirked. 

"So you like that, hm?" Rideaux loosened his grip and moved Ludger so the younger was laid flat across the desk with his arms hanging over the edge. 

Eyes half-lidded with small panted breaths leaving his lips, Ludger looked up at Rideaux through his hair. Embarrassment washed over him and both eyes closed as he wished he could vanish. Rideaux had barely even- Teeth biting into his neck brought out a gasp, and an involuntarily twitch of his hips. The director was focusing on his throat, biting and sucking until Ludger was sure he'd left a bruise there. 

"Perfect." Rideaux chuckled and pressed a kiss against it. A low, breathy moan left Ludger's lips, forming Rideaux's name before he clamped them shut again. "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you." 

Rideaux's slender fingers ran down Ludger's torso, smoothing the cloth over his lithe form. With the cloth between them, the feeling left him wanting more as Ludger arched up. Whimpers left his throat, bringing a dull embarrassment at how easily Rideaux was manipulating him. The definite bulge in Ludger's pants went ignored, fingers skirting around it to press into his thighs. Whimpering louder as his legs were pushed apart, Ludger tried to steady his breathing. If he couldn't control himself, this wouldn't last long. 

"Developing quite the problem, aren't you?" Rideaux chuckled and moved one of his hands to stroke over Ludger's clothed erection. When Ludger's hips thrust upward into his hand, the hard press made him gasp as his hips were pushed back down. "Stay still, Ludger. You still haven't told me."

"You know what- ah- I wanted to say..." 

Rideaux hummed in agreement, fingers pulling at the zipper on Ludger's pants. Hearing it open, Ludger bit his lip and turned his head in embarrassment. Rideaux's low laugh only made it worse, regret flaring in the back of his mind. It had been stupid to do this. What had he been thinking? 

"I've barely done anything to you yet." Drawing back, Rideaux leaned over, fingers pressing into Ludger's cheek and turning his face toward him. A smirk was on his face again as his hair fell forward around them, humor dancing in his eyes. "Just how long have you wanted me?" 

"Don't flatter yourself." 

Tilting his head back and using Rideaux's hair to pull him forward, Ludger pressed their lips together. Moving closer and parting his lips, Ludger felt the regret fading away and making way for irritation. Rideaux's lips didn't budge, drawing back instead and leaving Ludger to look up at that smirk again. 

"Kiss me." Infuriatingly, Rideaux shook his head. The growl that Ludger gave seemed to amuse him despite the way Ludger's hands were still clutching his dark hair.

"That's what you want. How about a trade?" 

Ludger shook his head and forced their lips together again, growling when Rideaux still refused to respond. Either the director didn't really find him attractive, or he was being an ass again. Ludger preferred to lean more on the latter explanation. 

"This isn't... going to work..." Rideaux spoke between kisses, lips brushing against Ludger's with each word. "Turn around." 

Ludger released Rideaux's hair and sat up. As he turned, he took the opportunity to open his jacket and undo his tie. Both of them were shoved down and left Ludger's torso fully exposed to the cooler air of the office. With a shudder, Ludger moved forward until he was on the edge of the desk with his legs spread. Lips met again, teeth biting this time when Ludger opened his mouth. Gasping and moving closer, Ludger nearly slipped off the desk with the movement. Rideaux chuckled against his lips and pushed him back. 

"So, what do you call this?" 

Ludger's hands were in Rideaux's hair, twisting the strands as he pulled the director forward again. Seeing the older man so close made the desire in gold eyes evident and Ludger answered him. 

"Just a... sexual attraction..." Ludger licked Rideaux, coaxing another kiss from his director. 

Sudden weight pushed Ludger back until he was again lying against the desk, Rideaux bent over him this time. This wasn't just a sexual attraction. There was so much more to it than that, yet Ludger was afraid to voice the confession. This was the man who put him in debt, treated him terribly, and threatened Elle. And yet... Pleasurable pain against his jaw dragged a moan out of him as Rideaux's mouth moved down toward his throat. 

"Are you sure, Ludger?" The breath ran over his skin, leaving goosebumps as he shivered. 

"I...." Ludger moaned and whimpered again when Rideaux pressed down on him, hips jerking up to meet him. 

Bare fingers felt over his form with well-practiced precision, dipping into each curve of muscle, pressing harder where the pressure made Ludger arch and moan... As much as Ludger was enjoying the attention, it was getting to be too much. 

"Just get on with it," Ludger whined. 

"That doesn't give me what I want though, does it?" 

"But you do want it." Grinding his hips upward, Ludger smirked at the hiss he got from Rideaux. "Don't think I don't... feel that." 

Grinding his clothed erection against Rideaux's was easier said than done in his position. Especially with the director trying to pull back with each movement. Curving a leg up around Rideaux's body kept the man in place and Ludger could feel the triumphant smirk on his own lips. Tipping his head back with a moan, Ludger used Rideaux's body to press himself up harder against the other man. Never mind the cloth between them or the mess that would come of it. He was hard and so close... 

"Stop that." Despite the hand on his thigh, Ludger didn't feel his leg move at all. Instead, Rideaux's hips pushed his own back to the desk. The weight effectively pinned him in place, and Rideaux ceased movement. 

"Oh come on," Ludger whined again. Another bite on the side of his throat changed the whine to a sharp moan. "You didn't take so long in the fractured dimension. Guess you were pretty different after all." 

Ludger smirked as Rideaux lifted himself, staring down at him with narrowed eyes. Ludger's heart pounded in his chest, sounding loud in his ears as he met the golden gaze. 

"You don't say." The sentence was nearly a purr, a sweet smile curving his lips. "Tell me... How much did you enjoy that fake?"

"What's it matter? He's a fake, isn't he? Couldn't possibly live up to the original." 

"Indeed." 

Rideaux drew back and Ludger's leg easily slid off Rideaux's side, falling heavily onto the desk. Ludger had barely registered what Rideaux was doing when he felt his clothing at his knees, one leg pulled up, and one of the Rideaux's fingers easing into him. He was both grateful for and confused by the saliva he felt coating it- when had Rideaux done that?- but it was much too fast. Instantly, he tried to pull away. The tight grip on his lifted leg held him in place and Ludger tried to force his body to relax. 

"What are you doing?" 

"It's what you want, isn't it?" 

"Not like that!" 

"Say it then." Rideaux leaned over Ludger, smirking at the wince of pain the younger gave with each movement of his finger. He was clearly aware that he was going about it all wrong, and Ludger hated him for it. "Tell me what you really came in here to say." 

"I..." Gasping cut off the rest of Ludger's sentence. "You know what I came to say. Why do you-" 

"I want to hear you say it. Tell me how you feel, Ludger Kresnik." 

The low, commanding tone of his voice sent a shiver down Ludger's spine and caused him to shudder. Which was a bad idea and small tears sprang into his eyes. Being penetrated like this was anything but pleasant and he strongly doubted that would change. 

"Is this really the time for- Ah!" Both eyes widened, pained pleasure briefly sparking in him. 

"Now's as good a time as any." Leaning close, Rideaux licked up the side of Ludger's throat, up to his ear and giving the lobe a small bite. The finger curled and Ludger inhaled sharply. "Unless you're enjoying the pain." 

"I bet you are." 

Ludger turned Rideaux's head with another sharp yank to the hair and pressed their mouths together. This time, their lips moved against each other. Warmth spread through Ludger's body and he relaxed against the desk. It was different this time, and he was certain he wasn't the only one feeling it. Or, he hoped he wasn't. Releasing Rideaux's hair and sliding his hands to the director's shoulders, Ludger was about to deepen the kiss when he felt the hand pulling away from him, finger leaving his body. 

"What are you doing?" Mumbling the words against Rideaux's lips, Ludger opened his eyes. 

Rideaux was pulling from him, backing two steps before stopping. From this distance, it was clear how their actions had been affecting him. Strands of hair clung to his face which was flushed and just a little damp with sweat. Tossing the boa scarf to the side and undoing the clasp on the shorter one, Rideaux quickly pulled dropped his red jacket to the floor behind him. Swallowing hard as the collared shirt was unbuttoned and pale skin was exposed to him, Ludger bit his lip. It was everything he had been expecting and by the time the final layer fluttered off to land in a heap atop the jacket, Ludger had pushed himself from the desktop and placed his hands on Rideaux. Exploring the pale torso in front of him in much the same manner that Rideaux had done to his own earlier got the reaction he was hoping for. Soft gasps met his ears, especially when he scraped his nails against the soft skin. Leaning forward to nip a trail from the exposed throat to one sensitive nipple increased the volume and frequency of Rideaux's small gasps. Much to his disappointment, the director didn't shove him back and take what he so obviously wanted. 

"You aren't your usual self..." Ludger pressed his hips against Rideaux's, rubbing against the clothed erection as his lips trailed up the other side of a pale throat. "Do I need to take charge?" 

Rideaux growled, something resembling a groan throwing off the effect as Ludger thrust his hips forward again. A stern stare fixed Ludger then, the flushed cheeks doing nothing to lessen its impact. 

"Get on your knees. Now." 

Smirk on his lips, Ludger dropped to the floor and shoved Rideaux's red pants open. Nuzzling the hard erection through the thin cloth in front of him got a gasp from above and Ludger chuckled. Looking up through his lashes, Ludger met Rideaux's gaze, pulling the clothing down and licking up the underside of his cock. Hearing Rideaux's breath hitch in his throat encouraged him to do it again, this time making sure to get his fingers covered first. 

"Ludger..." Rideaux groaned. "Maybe here isn't... the best..." 

"It's fine." 

Reaching back and down, Ludger pushed his wet fingers into himself with a sharp inhale. Letting the breath wash over Rideaux, Ludger placed a kiss against the tip as his brows came together. The fingers were too much too fast, and Ludger's body made sure he knew that. Slowing down so he didn't hurt himself was the smart thing to do but Ludger didn't care at the moment. Instead, he tried relaxing his body and started preparing himself as carefully as he cared to. 

"I can do that for you," Rideaux muttered above him. 

Ludger shook his head and moved, taking as much of Rideaux's cock into his mouth as he could. Sucking and licking back up brought pleasured gasps and moans from above his head. Slender fingers gripped his hair and pushed his head down, forcing the cock to hit the back of his throat. Choking for a moment brought tears to Ludger's eyes before he relaxed and felt Rideaux slide into his throat. Tugging on his hair pulled him back, and Ludger ran his tongue up the cock sliding out of his mouth. Gasping breaths left him as he met Rideaux's gaze again. Both hands pressed into Rideaux's pale hips and pushed him away.

"I think we're ready," Ludger said. 

The grip on his hair hesitantly lessened and slipped away. Grinning and planting another kiss on Rideaux, Ludger got to his feet and turned to the desk. Moving forward so his arms lay against the metal surface, he pushed his butt back and exposed himself to Rideaux. Tossing his hair out of his face, Ludger looked over his shoulder expectantly. 

"Aren't you eager." The smirk on his face was reflected in the tone of his voice as he walked forward, pants slipping lower as he moved. 

A slap on Ludger's ass caused the younger to yelp and draw away, a mix of shame and excitement coursing through his body as his heart started racing again. 

"That's for pulling away without permission." 

Arching his back and exposing himself more drove his hips back against Rideaux, slick heat pushing past his relaxed muscles moments after. Ludger bit his own lip to stifle a moan as Rideaux's cock stretched his muscles, moving too slow for Ludger's heightened need. Thrusting his hips back forced Rideaux the rest of the way in, a hybrid gasp and moan parting his lips. The minor discomfort and flash of pain at not being prepared quite enough quickly dissipated as Ludger rocked against Rideaux. 

"Hold still," Rideaux growled. Both hands grabbed Ludger's slender hips, fingers gripping just a little tight. 

"Then hurry up." 

Another growl came in response to the commanding tone, accompanied by a slow thrust. 

"You aren't... In any position to command me." 

The controlled thrusts were slow and almost gentle, leaving Ludger wanting- needing- more. Trying to push his hips back was useless with the bruising grip Rideaux had, so he tried talking instead. 

"I know you can give me more... Director." 

"Director, hm?" Rideaux muttered. He leaned over Ludger, hair brushing between shoulder blades and breath washing over the agent's ear as a hand tugged his head back by the hair. "Have you earned it, Agent Kresnik?" 

Ludger felt excitement rush through his body at the reminder, going straight to his cock. This was what he had been hoping for all along. His hair wrapped around the other's fingers, fucked against the desk in the middle of the day... Swallowing hard, Ludger took a few moments to respond. 

"I... You know my record. Do you think I did?" 

"Sixty-one fractured dimensions." Rideaux paused to catch his breath, speaking more difficult with each thrust. "All destroyed quick enough. Except that one last week."

The force behind the next thrust hit his prostate dead on and Ludger called out, arching against the desk, Rideaux's name nearly tumbling from his lips. Each following thrust was perfectly aimed, pleasured gasps for more increasing the pace until Ludger was a moaning wreck, hands gripping the desk as he followed orders not to move. Gaze turned toward the ceiling and his head held back, Ludger felt saliva trickle from the corner of his mouth. It might have embarrassed him if he was capable of feeling shame at this point, but all he cared about was the way Rideaux used his body. Near-breathless noises of pleasure grew louder until Rideaux's name finally echoed through the office, Ludger's entire body tensing as he came hard. The grip on his hair left and he collapsed forward, trembling and trying to catch his breath. Rideaux was having similar problems as he came with a groan, slipping out of Ludger and patting his ass with a half-hearted laugh. 

"Good boy." Sitting heavily in his seat, Rideaux took a few breaths before saying anything more. "The feeling's mutual." 

Lifting himself to his elbows and turning, Ludger looked at Rideaux in curiosity. 

"I wouldn't have sex with just anyone. Now that we have...." Rideaux leaned forward, expression getting darker as his tone dipped lower and got an edge to it. "You better not change your mind about me."

"You don't need to worry about that." Ludger pushed himself to his feet, pulled up his pants with a grimace and walked over, wrapping his arms around Rideaux's shoulders and falling into his lap. 

Pressing their mouths together again said all that was needed.


End file.
